Naikan: New Year's Naikan

Naikan for the New Year
How will you spend the last day of this year? For a few years a group of us gathered at Barbara's home on December 31st to reflect on our lives. We would reflect for up to twelve hours leading to the first moment of the new year. We would consider the gifts, support, and care we received from so many people and objects during the past year. Then we would celebrate with one another, sharing our good fortune of the past and our goals for the coming year.

We would set up one room as a "receiving room," where any of the participants could go to share their Naikan reflection. Experienced participants would take turns staying in this room and listening to the Naikan reflection of others.

Last year I sat in the corner of a basement, sitting on a cushion and staring at a wall. Periodically the furnace would go on and my mind would alternate between moments of frustration at the whir of the motor and moments of gratitude for the heat I was receiving that kept me warm during a rather frigid evening.

New Year's is a good time to identify goals for the coming year. If we are graced with another year of life, how can we make the most of this time? How can we best serve the world? Can we begin to repay, in some small way, those who have been so caring and supportive during the past year-during our entire life?

As a New Year's exercise, try making a list of ten of the most important people in your life. For each person, reflect on the three most important things they have done for you or given to you. Notice how many of these items were important, not just in their own right, but had led to other wonderful experiences and opportunities that may not otherwise have occurred. Then ask yourself, "What can I give to this person, or do for this person, in the coming year?" Try to select something that would be important from their perspective rather than something you think would be good for them. Eventually, the list is completed: ten gifts or services for ten personal supporters who have attended to us.

When you complete your list, make it your goal to give each gift or service in the coming year. Add this goal to your other goals. Place it on top of your list. What could be more important? It may not pay off your debts, or make adequate amends for the troubles you have caused, but those who have supported us deserve some act of gratitude, some tangible sign of appreciation, a few moments of our undivided attention.

Realistically, what can we give? We function merely as agents and delivery people. Objects and services pass through us as gifts are transferred and distributed from one point of the universe to another. Each stop is temporary. Gifts just can't sit still. Life caring for itself, serving itself, and constantly rearranging itself.

It's almost midnight now. Our formal reflection ends and we quietly begin to warm the bounty of food brought by the participants. I always look forward to the vegetarian shepherd's pie Julie brings. She travels hundreds of miles from Washington, D.C., to be here for just one night. At midnight we eat and celebrate the ending of one year and the beginning of another. Then we gradually find a quiet little spot and drift off to sleep. And that furnace with the noisy motor keeps me warm all night. Even though I'm not awake.

Suggestions for New Year's Naikan Reflection
Listed below are many Naikan-related exercises you can do to begin the new year. In our quiet reflection we can experience a different kind of New Year's celebration. We can celebrate the gifts of our lives. We can toast the kindness others have shown to us. We can get drunk on the love we have received in spite of our own limitations and mistakes.

Reflect on your mother, father, or other people who have supported you during the past year. You may have received things during an earlier time period, but still benefited from them during the past year.
Do Naikan reflection on someone with whom you've had difficulty, conflict, or tension during the past year. This is often the type of self-reflection we don't feel like doing. Maybe that is an indication that it is needed.
Make a list of one hundred things you've received this past year without providing any compensation or consideration. These could be things you received as gifts, things you stole, or things you used without payment.
Make a list of twenty-five important services that were done for you during the past year.
Reflect on ways you caused trouble and difficulty to the people you listed in exercise number 4, above.
Reflect on your lying and stealing for the past year.
Reflect on your speech this past year. In what ways have you spoken critically, harmfully, or inappropriately about others. How did this cause harm or trouble?
Reflect on ways you mistreated objects during the past year.
What have you learned this past year? Who taught you? Make a list of all the people and objects that helped you to learn and grow, personally, professionally, and spiritually.
Write thank-you letters to those who have cared for you and served you this past year.